I feel really FAT!

After weighing over 100kg for way too many years then I should have, and never being considered thin, as a child or an adult...I have always felt FAT!
Getting down to 78kg, I never thought I would feel fat again. I am not at goal, but I wouldn't feel fat.
Well, I have gained 4kg since I last blogged (and that wasn't that long ago) and boy do I feel FAT!
Some of it is because I just got back from Bali...last time I gained 5kg in bali, and lost 5 kg the following week.
Part of it is having my period and it is late due to skipping the sugar round so I wouldn't have my period whilst on holidays. I am about 2 weeks over due so I am over bloated from that.

But mainly, I have put on weight because I have increased my alcohol intake, my chocolate intake, my food intake. I have decreased my exercise (a lot due to Bali and just getting back and being OVER tired). I FEEL FAT! I can feel it in my belly. I can see it on my muffin top that I got when I tried on all 3 pair of jeans. They are all too tight!
I can feel it in my boobs. My newly fitted bras that fit PERFECT are digging in.

I have put on weight. It isn't just bloating.
And I feel FAT!

So what to do???
I said if I didn't get to goal by the end of this month I was quitting WW and joining a gym or something to get me motivated again.
So I quit WW a couple of days ago (they have said it wont take affect until May) and in May I am starting a 10week bootcamp. I can't wait! The trainer is an ex military guy, 25 years drilling 60 squadron.

I also got the tracking book out and tracked yesterday and today. Last time I tracked I lost 1kg and got to 78kg...I stopped the week I was going to Bali and the week of Bali, and now I must do it again. It doesn't matter that I have quit WW...I can still track.

I also got on the treadmill. I like running outside, I wanted to run outside, but i had things to do, had to wait around for the landlord and then it was just too hot (it was midday) to run outside. So on the treadmill for 5km today...jogged 4km and walked 1km. Was hard, my legs went to jelly. I have only exercised once in the past two weeks! But if I am going to survive bootcamp, i must get my butt into gear. I also need to start some serious training for fun runs. I haven't signed up for any yet. I must I must I must. They really motivated me last year, so I should do it now! I also want to do a half marathon this year, so I REALLY need to do some warm up events! I struggled with 4km today, how will I do 21.5km???

Hopefully the change will help me refocus. A change is needed, a drastic change. I can do it!
I will do it!!!