my first no weigh in out of choice!

I had WI last night, but for the first time I didn't go. I haven't been due to public holidays (which I always try to go to another one) or when I went to Bali, but in 8 months, I have pretty much gone to EVERY weigh in.

But, in one week I had gained over 2kg! Holy cow, how does one do that?
I went to Augusta and visited my parents. Mum is an amazing but terrible cook. Amazing because it is just beautiful food. Terrible because a. the plate is covered with no gaps and piled high. b. Every thing is cooked with full fat this and that, and oil oil oil. Yes  my parents are quite big too.
And I had to have wine. I didn't HAVE to, but I chose to because I don't drink too often and i wanted to.

But I did choose to eat the entirety of my plate, knowing how fattening it was. I chose to drink wine, eat cheese and crackers and do very little exercise (well the cold weather did play a contributing part in that!).

But it also didn't happen in just one weekend.

Last week I ate bad. I exercised ZILCH! I had a crap week.

So last night, knowing my fate, and not wanting an official glitch on my 25kg loss, I didn't go.
I had a 6.30 netball game so I was only going to weigh in.

For the past 6 or so weeks, I have been to the meetings ONCE, thanks to netball.  I am sick of paying $60/month for WW, plus $8 each week for netball game, and ONLY getting a weigh in and then leave for the game.
No wonder I am gaining - losing - gaining - losing etc. I am not an expert in weight loss. I need support. I need to be at meetings. I need help losing weight. And I need more help maintaining!

So after our netball game, found out we had yet another 6.30 game next week. So I told the team if we had a full team I wouldn't be coming. OMG did they chuck it. "We are playing the top team and need you." Well, quite frankly, I don't get to go in the position I am best at now that someone else returned the team. I am the "everywhere" girl, whoever is off, I go in their spot. I am getting a little over it. I would like to play my spot at least one quarter a game. I play it well, and I make a difference to the team. So being an everywhere girl, I feel like I can be missed.
And I am sick of missing my meetings.

so after trying hard to get me to change my mind, they asked about changing the time, and not a problem! So it has now been moved to the next time which means I can do both! YAY! I feel much better now. I am not going to miss out on my meetings anymore. Whenever there is a 6.30 time, I am not going to play. Unless that means we would be short.

I truly need support. I actually found losing the first 20kg really easy. It really did drop off with the changes I had made. I wasn't craving anything, I still treated myself but I was careful. The last 5kg has taken forever. I treat myself too much, I crave lots and once I start I can't stop. I need support! I thought I had my eating under wraps. But it has taken about 3 months to lose 5kg. 5 months to lose 20kg! I know it slows down the closer to goal you get, but that has nothing to do with it. This is me not being in control of the eating. Plain and simple. So meetings meetings meetings, talking about food, exercise, listening to others and what they have done. That is what I need. And that is what I will get.

I want to get to goal. I have 5.6kg to go. I don't want it to take another 3 months. If it does take that long, so be it. But so long as I am doing what I can to lose it. At the moment I am not doing what I can to lose it. That isn't good enough.
Am I being tough on myself? YES. I need to be tough on myself because last week was a pitiful effort and it needs to end.
And END it does!