bad week

When you have a gain, and a big one...you should do everything in your power to get rid of that gain and then some right? Well, you would think so!

I gained 1.1kg last Monday. That was MORE gained, then I had lost in 2 weeks.
So I started off full of determination to lose it. To lose 1.5kg. That was my goal.

So then what happened?

We had pizza Wednesday night. Can't remember Thursday. Friday? I did track, so I could find out, but I don't want to...it is a bit sad! Saturday I was going really well. Had my cousins over and they are bad eaters so we were doing hotdogs. Not me...i was having a steak sandwich with egg and salad. It would take me to 21 points, and i have 23 points allocated.
So all should be good!
But the steak sandwich was soooo good. so i had 2. And the second one wasn't on wholegrain thinly sliced toasted bread. No it was on a large WHITE roll. I never eat white bread! Even before WW...I hate it! But it was good last night.
Then, icecream. I don't eat icecream often. DD and DH have it, but they eat in the kitchen and I stay in the lounge. I don't see it, smell it, need it if it is not near me.
but yesterday...they ate in the lounge. I had to have some. I did. Thankfully, it was the light cadburys stuff. 0.5 points per serve. The serving size wasn't measured. So how many points??

then today...new day, my running day. still had the cousins over so was waiting for their mum to come get them. Of course, that didn't happen until late and they left after 12. Lunch: left over sausages and bun (i did so good yesterday not to have it...then what?)
DH had to go help his mum move all his grandma's stuff out of her house (moved into a home) so then he left and I can't take DD running! Then my sister came over and she left at 5.30. I had to clean up a whole heap of stuff as I had gone through all DDs baby stuff to give to my sister. So it was after 6pm, and dinner? We eat at 6! We were all starving, had to go to shops to get some vegetables...too hard and wouldn't be eating until after 7!
So what did we have???
Chicken treat...chicken and chips. 17 points in one meal!
Another day over!

So when is weigh in?  Tomorrow.
1.1kg gone? NOWAY! Will i get a loss? Not at this rate!
I did express that I would be going for a run in the morning, to counteract the chicken treat. but i fear my lack of care this week...has wounded the scales big time!

I think my lack of care has come from 2 things

ONE: when I tried really hard and stayed on track, I gained 1.1kg. So if I am going to gain anyway, I may as well eat the stuff that will make a gain worth it.
Sad really. Really sad.

TWO: I feel and look good (with clothes on I must stress) at my current weight. I am complacent because I feel comfortable and happy. I fit into size 12 or size 14. And I get a lot of compliments. I even got one from a student on friday: "Mrs V...I just wanted to tell you, that you are looking good. Really good. I just thought you should know that you look GOOD!" Wow! What 12 year old boy says that, without a snicker? He was being sincere. You can tell with that age! It was great. Then a parent said almost the same thing. On Wednesday two of my ex students came for a visit, and they commented on how good I looked. My old principal didn't recognise me when I went to visit the staffroom. 20 minutes he stared at me, wondering who it was. Then, in the middle of a speech, he called out across the room "Oh my god, it's Kylie. WOW! You look....WOW" Why lose more weight when you hear that? Feel like that? What is the incentive? I know: my health. but i am healthy - results are there. I am fit. I can't use that for my motivation anymore. Even though I am still overweight, I don't have diabetes and I am not at risk. Asthma is very limited and only struggling when I run due to the coldness. I don't have eczema anymore. Blood pressure normal. Cholesterol normal. Very low risk of heart disease. I am the fittest person I know, outside of my training group, and even with them...I am right up there for fitness. My only health issue is my thyroid problem, and that is a reason why I gain weight, not because of my weight!

Rewards aren't working as motivation either. I would love to get to Melbourne, my goal reward...but even that...just isn't working.
I am doing a challenge on the WW forum. I am not motivated. I post in, I see my loss, I see my gain...big deal. I am not challenged!

I just don't know. Anyone got an idea of what I can do to get me wanting to get into the 70s? The obvious isn't there...so I need something more! What is going to wake me up? Being fat isn't waking me up! I do want to get to goal. But I am happy not at goal.

Sad really.  Really sad! :(