So last night (i just couldn't do it in the morning!) I did wk 6, session 2 of C25K. I went after dinner...and it was tough. Probably because I had dinner in me! And getting back at 7.30...it is dark and scary out there at that time!
But I did it. two lots of 10 minutes. Tomorrow is the 25 minute run, and I am going to the lake to do it. I haven't been there in 3 weeks! since before Bali!
I did kickboxing today. It was easy to start...then got hard, when the mix of running came into it. But again I enjoyed it!
Going to go to the zoo later when DD wakes up, so looking forward to that for a. i love the zoo. b. more walking!
I need to do so much exercise because my eating is terrible! I am about to go have a nap. Which is terrible, i am so tired, and I know it is due to my diet. While I have been eating good, no great breakfasts and lunches, and good dinners, it is the snacks. And I know my points are high, and I still decide to have a snack and take myself over points. Kylie 3 weeks ago would not do it!
Thankfully because I do exercise, or at least walk a lot, I never eat all my exercise points, but I still don't like it.
And not only do i see written down that my points are high and what i am eating just isn't good, I am now physically showing the signs of this...does it stop me? NO. What needs to happen to get me out of this? I don't want a gain, and I don't even think a gain would work!
Time for nap, before DD wakes up. Looking forward to tackling the lake tomorrow and need plenty of rest prior!
:)
Friday, March 12, 2010
Thursday, March 11, 2010
this week
This week should have been easy. I was ecstatic at the loss on Monday. 2.1kg...i never imagined that after my trip and after my poor feelings.
So I should be back into it! But I am still feeling like I just can't be bothered.
I am tracking. I am sticking to points...maybe 1 or so points over, but they just eat into my exercise points, and I always have at least 3 bonus points.
But I am not planning and therefore not a lot of thought is put into my food. I am not filling up on filling foods and I am wanting...chocolate. I am eating chocolate, all WW stuff (cafe biscuits, toffee bars or eclairs) but I am eating all 3 in one day! I know I just shouldn't be eating it...but I just want it!
I need to start thinking ahead of time what we are having. I need to start preparing. I need to get vegies into me! I am not even eating my 5 vege a day! I did prepare the Basic spaghetti bolognaise recipe from the WW magazine today. I put it in the slow cooker. We had spaghetti tonight and I have frozen 3 more serves, so will try 3 of the other 5 ways to eat it! So I have made a start!
But I need to make some big changes!!!
I had 2 days rest from exercise, in a row. that is not a bad thing, but i have never had two in a row since starting my exercise program! I was feeling really lazy! I was going to go running last night. But DH didn't download my podcast, then he went on the computer while I was waiting for him to come and take over to look after our daughter. half an hour later, it was pitch black so I wont go for obvious safety reasons. he had to take the dog for a walk. I was quite disappointed because I really wanted to start week 6 of C25K.
But tonight no excuse. Started it, and completed session 1. It was easier then last weeks...in saying that I mean the actual program was easier, and I only did one session. But boy did I have asthma! That made it hard!
But I did my 5/8/5 jog. I know I could have continued with another 5 and 5, but there was no way I could do even do 6 minutes on the last run! I needed my break! But that is fine, it was exactly what session 1 was, no less!
Dog was dead again. gees i wish this would make him fitter!
I have just over 2 weeks until the bridges fun run, so i need to get some more training in quick smart! am thinking of an early night and getting up early in the morning! We will see! :) I made sure I had a really good stretch afterwards so I will not be sore like I was last week!
HOT HOT day tomorrow of 39 degrees. I am worried it will be too hot in the evening to exercise. It was hot tonight with an uncomfortable easterly. So I might just have to drag myself out of bed early!!! i haven't done it for awhile! so maybe it is time! But I so love my sleep in! sleep in until 7am I should add...so not a huge sleep in!!! Again we will see!
So I should be back into it! But I am still feeling like I just can't be bothered.
I am tracking. I am sticking to points...maybe 1 or so points over, but they just eat into my exercise points, and I always have at least 3 bonus points.
But I am not planning and therefore not a lot of thought is put into my food. I am not filling up on filling foods and I am wanting...chocolate. I am eating chocolate, all WW stuff (cafe biscuits, toffee bars or eclairs) but I am eating all 3 in one day! I know I just shouldn't be eating it...but I just want it!
I need to start thinking ahead of time what we are having. I need to start preparing. I need to get vegies into me! I am not even eating my 5 vege a day! I did prepare the Basic spaghetti bolognaise recipe from the WW magazine today. I put it in the slow cooker. We had spaghetti tonight and I have frozen 3 more serves, so will try 3 of the other 5 ways to eat it! So I have made a start!
But I need to make some big changes!!!
I had 2 days rest from exercise, in a row. that is not a bad thing, but i have never had two in a row since starting my exercise program! I was feeling really lazy! I was going to go running last night. But DH didn't download my podcast, then he went on the computer while I was waiting for him to come and take over to look after our daughter. half an hour later, it was pitch black so I wont go for obvious safety reasons. he had to take the dog for a walk. I was quite disappointed because I really wanted to start week 6 of C25K.
But tonight no excuse. Started it, and completed session 1. It was easier then last weeks...in saying that I mean the actual program was easier, and I only did one session. But boy did I have asthma! That made it hard!
But I did my 5/8/5 jog. I know I could have continued with another 5 and 5, but there was no way I could do even do 6 minutes on the last run! I needed my break! But that is fine, it was exactly what session 1 was, no less!
Dog was dead again. gees i wish this would make him fitter!
I have just over 2 weeks until the bridges fun run, so i need to get some more training in quick smart! am thinking of an early night and getting up early in the morning! We will see! :) I made sure I had a really good stretch afterwards so I will not be sore like I was last week!
HOT HOT day tomorrow of 39 degrees. I am worried it will be too hot in the evening to exercise. It was hot tonight with an uncomfortable easterly. So I might just have to drag myself out of bed early!!! i haven't done it for awhile! so maybe it is time! But I so love my sleep in! sleep in until 7am I should add...so not a huge sleep in!!! Again we will see!
Monday, March 8, 2010
WOW! I pulled one from somewhere!
WI tonight. Netball tonight. The two things that are bound to pull me back into the whole thing...and they have! I already feel positive and ready and want to do this!!!
Which one first...Netball.
Played the top team. We won by 1 point! I played GA the whole game, wore the pedometer: 6500 steps.
I ran my shrinking butt off. I actually ran rings around the girl I played against. She was a tall, thin yet very muscular, just so lean girl who had arms! Oh they went on forever. And her legs...absolutely gorgeous legs that also didn't stop!
She had to drop back in the circle with the GK because she couldn't keep up! She congratulated me at the end of the game on the amount of running that I did! WOW!
so the fat girl who people would laugh at when they saw me on court, let alone try to play, now outruns even fit people!
YAY!!!
Weigh In.
GET READY!!!!
Remember, it has been 2 weeks for a weigh in. but also remember I went to Bali (i have mentioned it enough, how could anyone forget!) and I drank and I ate. And I have struggled with eating. Indeed this morning, I ate a carrot cake with the absolute most amazing icing!
So I stepped on the scales, remembered my phone was in my pocket...don't want anything weighing it down, so longer wait while the scales readjusted!
Then she wrote down my weight, and I thought I saw her write a 0. So I stepped in to take a better look. I asked her if that was correct! Did she weigh me correctly? she checked the card. Yes she had the right card.
90.4kg
a 2.1kg loss! So a loss of 1kg each week!
WOW!
WOW!
WOW!
400g from the 80s!
I have lost 17.5kg all up!
I am 2.5kg from 20kg loss all up.
that is 2.5kg from my ipod!
I also reached, no blitzed, my 15% weight loss!
OMG I am just so happy! I cannot believe that even with my nothingness in feelings towards WW, that I lost that much.
So forcing myself to exercise, pushing myself so much, walking so much in Bali...it was all worth it. it did counteract the eating and drinking and the deflated-ness!
So with results like that, how could I not want to just FOR GO IT?! I would like to think even with a small loss, stayed the same or a small gain, I would have the attitude back. I was really excited to be weighed, waiting in line. Honestly thinking a gain was coming...I still wanted my results, good bad or ugly.
Unfortunately, my WW friend lost and gained 0. She even showed the leader 2 weeks worth of tracking, and she is at a loss as to what she can do. She is living and breathing the program like me, but less exercise due to injury.
She is off to a naturopath tomorrow to see why she keeps retaining fluid and why the weight wont come off. I so hope they can sort it out...She tries so damn hard and I hate seeing her not lose or lose 200gms. She tries so hard not to compare with me, she knows that I exercise and that makes a big difference. She is averaging 200gms per week loss. I am averaging about 900gms. So I am not losing massive amounts, I am losing exactly where I should be at! I try to keep telling her that 200gms is better then nothing...but i can feel for her. i know she tries to be excited for me, but seriously, why should she when she is struggling! I know it is a medical issue for her, she, i think, has finally realised it is too. hopefully they can sort out a solution! She has been to drs, dieticians, homeopaths, those eye people etc...all before and no luck...so i think she feels like this is her last chance.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE last chance....WORK!
Which one first...Netball.
Played the top team. We won by 1 point! I played GA the whole game, wore the pedometer: 6500 steps.
I ran my shrinking butt off. I actually ran rings around the girl I played against. She was a tall, thin yet very muscular, just so lean girl who had arms! Oh they went on forever. And her legs...absolutely gorgeous legs that also didn't stop!
She had to drop back in the circle with the GK because she couldn't keep up! She congratulated me at the end of the game on the amount of running that I did! WOW!
so the fat girl who people would laugh at when they saw me on court, let alone try to play, now outruns even fit people!
YAY!!!
Weigh In.
GET READY!!!!
Remember, it has been 2 weeks for a weigh in. but also remember I went to Bali (i have mentioned it enough, how could anyone forget!) and I drank and I ate. And I have struggled with eating. Indeed this morning, I ate a carrot cake with the absolute most amazing icing!
So I stepped on the scales, remembered my phone was in my pocket...don't want anything weighing it down, so longer wait while the scales readjusted!
Then she wrote down my weight, and I thought I saw her write a 0. So I stepped in to take a better look. I asked her if that was correct! Did she weigh me correctly? she checked the card. Yes she had the right card.
90.4kg
a 2.1kg loss! So a loss of 1kg each week!
WOW!
WOW!
WOW!
400g from the 80s!
I have lost 17.5kg all up!
I am 2.5kg from 20kg loss all up.
that is 2.5kg from my ipod!
I also reached, no blitzed, my 15% weight loss!
OMG I am just so happy! I cannot believe that even with my nothingness in feelings towards WW, that I lost that much.
So forcing myself to exercise, pushing myself so much, walking so much in Bali...it was all worth it. it did counteract the eating and drinking and the deflated-ness!
So with results like that, how could I not want to just FOR GO IT?! I would like to think even with a small loss, stayed the same or a small gain, I would have the attitude back. I was really excited to be weighed, waiting in line. Honestly thinking a gain was coming...I still wanted my results, good bad or ugly.
Unfortunately, my WW friend lost and gained 0. She even showed the leader 2 weeks worth of tracking, and she is at a loss as to what she can do. She is living and breathing the program like me, but less exercise due to injury.
She is off to a naturopath tomorrow to see why she keeps retaining fluid and why the weight wont come off. I so hope they can sort it out...She tries so damn hard and I hate seeing her not lose or lose 200gms. She tries so hard not to compare with me, she knows that I exercise and that makes a big difference. She is averaging 200gms per week loss. I am averaging about 900gms. So I am not losing massive amounts, I am losing exactly where I should be at! I try to keep telling her that 200gms is better then nothing...but i can feel for her. i know she tries to be excited for me, but seriously, why should she when she is struggling! I know it is a medical issue for her, she, i think, has finally realised it is too. hopefully they can sort out a solution! She has been to drs, dieticians, homeopaths, those eye people etc...all before and no luck...so i think she feels like this is her last chance.
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE last chance....WORK!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
C25K twice! D.I.C.K!
Well, as the title says...I did the C25K twice! And no, not yesterday and today (i had kickboxing yesterday). No not this morning and tonight.
I did week 5 session 2 (missed session 1) followed straight away with week 5 session 3: the 20 minute run!
I changed the session 2 to two 11 minute runs, not 8. Then I had to get back to the car...so I thought I would do the session 1 afterall. got to 5 minutes and thought...naah, i can do 8 again...naah...i can do 10. I was halfway up a hill when the 10 minutes was up, and i just thought..."if i can make the hill, it is all downhill and flat...maybe i can just keep running"...and I did! I ran to the car, and then still had 4 minutes left, so completed the 20 minute run!
So in one day I am up to week 6! Woohoo!
I am a D.I.C.K because tomorrow I am going to pay big time! doing hills kills my knees...so aargh! not looking forward to tomorrow! but i did stretch. and my bum too!
Now i feel better about yet another poor eating day, starting out with pancakes and maple syrup. But Oh how delightful!!!
WI tomorrow...must must must have a good eating day tomorrow!
I did week 5 session 2 (missed session 1) followed straight away with week 5 session 3: the 20 minute run!
I changed the session 2 to two 11 minute runs, not 8. Then I had to get back to the car...so I thought I would do the session 1 afterall. got to 5 minutes and thought...naah, i can do 8 again...naah...i can do 10. I was halfway up a hill when the 10 minutes was up, and i just thought..."if i can make the hill, it is all downhill and flat...maybe i can just keep running"...and I did! I ran to the car, and then still had 4 minutes left, so completed the 20 minute run!
So in one day I am up to week 6! Woohoo!
I am a D.I.C.K because tomorrow I am going to pay big time! doing hills kills my knees...so aargh! not looking forward to tomorrow! but i did stretch. and my bum too!
Now i feel better about yet another poor eating day, starting out with pancakes and maple syrup. But Oh how delightful!!!
WI tomorrow...must must must have a good eating day tomorrow!
Friday, March 5, 2010
C25K
After losing all mojo for exercise, WW, food and everything; last night I forced week 4 session 2 for C25K out of me! And I found it easy!!! :) The dog found it incredibly hard though.
So I was really glad I was able to do it. I was worried that I really had lost all my ability from not doing much in Bali. But then I have to be realistic: I did do lots in Bali. I think because I only did 2 workouts in the gym, so 2 days of specific exercise, I feel like I didn't do a lot. But if I added up the kms I walked in 5 days, it would be around 60km, and that would be under estimating. So I should give myself more credit!
Since I am babysitting (AAARGH - an 8 year old boy!) tomorrow night and Sunday morning, I probably wont get to the lake Sunday. So I decided to fit the 3rd session in for C25K. I didn't think I was going to complete it in the first 3 minute run. Really asthmatic. And my butt hurt; didn't stretch properly after last nights run! I then did the 5 minute one quite a bit easier, and then because I couldn't hear the podcast properly (turned down on me without me realising!), I ended up running the final 3 minute + 90sec recovery + 5 minute.
So now I know I can do that, week 5 is just begging for me! I didn't take the dog with me tonight, so maybe i went faster, although I know I deliberately increased my speed last night, stretched out my stride more. Was conscious of it!
I find just running straight easier then this interval stuff. I am hoping I haven't reduced my running ability by changing to this, and maybe I should not have started where I did. Maybe I should have started at week 5?! but I was hoping that doing it at week 3 (only once) and week 4 it would help with the cardiovascular system and maybe breathing would be easier!
Still struggling with the food, but I am tracking. I had a great breakfast, but I was surprised it didn't keep me full for long. normally it does and I had more then what I normally have when I eat that! So when I caught up with a friend after kindergym for coffee at McDonalds so the kids could play (we do this a lot, and all I ever have is a skinny flat white or 2), I just needed food! I am shocked that I couldn't get through! But then yesterday I didn't eat when I was again at McDonalds with the same friend for the same reason, and at lunch I just couldn't stop eating. I didn't stop eating all afternoon!
Today I was a lot more controlled!
I had a seared chicken wrap, can't remember what type. Worked out to be 6 points. So tracked and fitted into my points allowance. Apart from that, I haven't snacked at all, except one small banana , whereas yesterday I was snacking all arvo!
I have 1.5 points left so going to enjoy a glass of cab sav. Already had a Becks beer tonight, so good to still be able to fit them in to my points allowance! Just would have liked to have save 1 point?!
Never mind. I did earn 5.5 points in steps.
Gees, I have just reread and I am thinking I am being way too tough on myself! I have 1.5 points left, and I am going to enjoy a wine, but then wish i had 1 extra point to save. I could save 1.5 points, but I am going to enjoy a wine. to still have this opportunity, despite going to McDonalds and struggling as I have said, is really quite good. Extraordinary actually! I think because my heart isn't in it, and I still feel deflated, I just don't feel like I am succeeding, even though my points allowance and tracking and exercise say I am. It has to be not being weighed!
So I was really glad I was able to do it. I was worried that I really had lost all my ability from not doing much in Bali. But then I have to be realistic: I did do lots in Bali. I think because I only did 2 workouts in the gym, so 2 days of specific exercise, I feel like I didn't do a lot. But if I added up the kms I walked in 5 days, it would be around 60km, and that would be under estimating. So I should give myself more credit!
Since I am babysitting (AAARGH - an 8 year old boy!) tomorrow night and Sunday morning, I probably wont get to the lake Sunday. So I decided to fit the 3rd session in for C25K. I didn't think I was going to complete it in the first 3 minute run. Really asthmatic. And my butt hurt; didn't stretch properly after last nights run! I then did the 5 minute one quite a bit easier, and then because I couldn't hear the podcast properly (turned down on me without me realising!), I ended up running the final 3 minute + 90sec recovery + 5 minute.
So now I know I can do that, week 5 is just begging for me! I didn't take the dog with me tonight, so maybe i went faster, although I know I deliberately increased my speed last night, stretched out my stride more. Was conscious of it!
I find just running straight easier then this interval stuff. I am hoping I haven't reduced my running ability by changing to this, and maybe I should not have started where I did. Maybe I should have started at week 5?! but I was hoping that doing it at week 3 (only once) and week 4 it would help with the cardiovascular system and maybe breathing would be easier!
Still struggling with the food, but I am tracking. I had a great breakfast, but I was surprised it didn't keep me full for long. normally it does and I had more then what I normally have when I eat that! So when I caught up with a friend after kindergym for coffee at McDonalds so the kids could play (we do this a lot, and all I ever have is a skinny flat white or 2), I just needed food! I am shocked that I couldn't get through! But then yesterday I didn't eat when I was again at McDonalds with the same friend for the same reason, and at lunch I just couldn't stop eating. I didn't stop eating all afternoon!
Today I was a lot more controlled!
I had a seared chicken wrap, can't remember what type. Worked out to be 6 points. So tracked and fitted into my points allowance. Apart from that, I haven't snacked at all, except one small banana , whereas yesterday I was snacking all arvo!
I have 1.5 points left so going to enjoy a glass of cab sav. Already had a Becks beer tonight, so good to still be able to fit them in to my points allowance! Just would have liked to have save 1 point?!
Never mind. I did earn 5.5 points in steps.
Gees, I have just reread and I am thinking I am being way too tough on myself! I have 1.5 points left, and I am going to enjoy a wine, but then wish i had 1 extra point to save. I could save 1.5 points, but I am going to enjoy a wine. to still have this opportunity, despite going to McDonalds and struggling as I have said, is really quite good. Extraordinary actually! I think because my heart isn't in it, and I still feel deflated, I just don't feel like I am succeeding, even though my points allowance and tracking and exercise say I am. It has to be not being weighed!
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Where has it gone?
Oh dear....Miss, I am so dedicated, work hard, track daily, train daily, always do 12000steps daily blah blah blah...
is finding it incredibly hard to get back into it!
I was only off for 5 days...and it has gone...whatever "it" is. Is it motivation? I am still motivated to lose weight. I am still motivated to exercise.I am still motivated to work hard. I am still motivated to be the dedicated determined inspirational hardworking person I was 1 1/2 weeks ago...but I just need a little longer to do it all and get back into it!!!!
I am tracking. but I can't keep my points where they should be. coming home on Monday night and having to work on Tuesday, meant we had NO fresh food. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I would find it hard. I didn't have time to plan and basically had nothing to plan with anyway! Having to use my spare time to organise work and not food or even eat...I found myself starving like the old days, therefore pigging out just before a high points dinner because husband had to get food (he didn't work the lucky thing) and he knows nothing about points! So day 1 I was 4 points over. then day 2, pretty much the same thing. No time to eat, pigged out just before dinner, and again over in points, only by 1...but hey, I haven't exercised so not good. Today is day 3. Finally a day off. But still no food this morning. Had fruit bread and shocked to see 3.5 points per piece! OMG!!! And 1 piece is never going to fill me up. So 7.5 points just for breakfast (including WW spread)!!!
So NOW I have gone shopping. First time I have been able to so I shouldn't blame myself, but annoyed that I couldn't do it earlier. DH had 2 days off...got lots of biscuits for him...but food as such, too hard basket I guess!
Maybe now we have some fruit and vegetables, I will know that what I am putting into my body is good and I want to continue to do good stuff for my body and do some exercise. It is just so hard! And I don't know why! I have kick boxing in 2 days, and I just feel like I am totally going to die doing it!
Tonight I will plan ahead what we will be doing for food. And I have decent food to work with now!
But even lunch...all I wanted to do was eat, because my breakfast wasn't the best, and I had nothing from 8.30 to 1...so ate lots of little bits. Another day for being over in points. I will try my best to limit that, but it is unlikely...after all, I do have to eat!
Lets hope after dinner I will have some motivation to go and do some running. Do week 4 session 2 (did it on monday in bali and really enjoyed it). See how much harder it is to do outdoors, but in a better heat situation! Once I get back into the routine and habit, I know it will just be part of my life again...but I have to get there first!
So for now...just to have discover why I have this mental block. Must get out of this rut. Thankfully I am recognising it now...and not 2 weeks later and 5kg heavier! Maybe it is time to retake photos and really see the difference...see what I have achieved so far. Or put the ipod I want for my 20kg reward on Lay-by...so it is all set up for me to get. I get my 15kg dress on Monday, so maybe even that will do it...see how lovely it looks and how sexy I feel! Oh something has to work! But it certainly wasn't putting my jeans on today...they are way too big for me! I cannot believe that they look like this on me, and the crutch just keeps falling down to my knees (well almost) and I am constantly hitching them up. I just feel annoyed that I spent money on clothes that don't fit! See it is gone! Before I was wrapped that these clothes don't fit! Now annoyance! I even put on a pair of pants for work, pants I hadn't worn since 2000 and even then they were tight...and they are loose! I have no pants for work! Annoyance! I should be so excited! I should be smiling ear to ear! But instead...I just feel so deflated...
come on "IT"...come back to me!
Just had a thought...maybe it is because I haven't been weighed so I have NO idea if I have gained or lost or stayed the same....I only ever weigh once a week at WW WI. So maybe, it is missing that and just having no idea. and I am a NEED TO KNOW person. Oh now I want to get weighed!
GRRRR
is finding it incredibly hard to get back into it!
I was only off for 5 days...and it has gone...whatever "it" is. Is it motivation? I am still motivated to lose weight. I am still motivated to exercise.I am still motivated to work hard. I am still motivated to be the dedicated determined inspirational hardworking person I was 1 1/2 weeks ago...but I just need a little longer to do it all and get back into it!!!!
I am tracking. but I can't keep my points where they should be. coming home on Monday night and having to work on Tuesday, meant we had NO fresh food. So I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I would find it hard. I didn't have time to plan and basically had nothing to plan with anyway! Having to use my spare time to organise work and not food or even eat...I found myself starving like the old days, therefore pigging out just before a high points dinner because husband had to get food (he didn't work the lucky thing) and he knows nothing about points! So day 1 I was 4 points over. then day 2, pretty much the same thing. No time to eat, pigged out just before dinner, and again over in points, only by 1...but hey, I haven't exercised so not good. Today is day 3. Finally a day off. But still no food this morning. Had fruit bread and shocked to see 3.5 points per piece! OMG!!! And 1 piece is never going to fill me up. So 7.5 points just for breakfast (including WW spread)!!!
So NOW I have gone shopping. First time I have been able to so I shouldn't blame myself, but annoyed that I couldn't do it earlier. DH had 2 days off...got lots of biscuits for him...but food as such, too hard basket I guess!
Maybe now we have some fruit and vegetables, I will know that what I am putting into my body is good and I want to continue to do good stuff for my body and do some exercise. It is just so hard! And I don't know why! I have kick boxing in 2 days, and I just feel like I am totally going to die doing it!
Tonight I will plan ahead what we will be doing for food. And I have decent food to work with now!
But even lunch...all I wanted to do was eat, because my breakfast wasn't the best, and I had nothing from 8.30 to 1...so ate lots of little bits. Another day for being over in points. I will try my best to limit that, but it is unlikely...after all, I do have to eat!
Lets hope after dinner I will have some motivation to go and do some running. Do week 4 session 2 (did it on monday in bali and really enjoyed it). See how much harder it is to do outdoors, but in a better heat situation! Once I get back into the routine and habit, I know it will just be part of my life again...but I have to get there first!
So for now...just to have discover why I have this mental block. Must get out of this rut. Thankfully I am recognising it now...and not 2 weeks later and 5kg heavier! Maybe it is time to retake photos and really see the difference...see what I have achieved so far. Or put the ipod I want for my 20kg reward on Lay-by...so it is all set up for me to get. I get my 15kg dress on Monday, so maybe even that will do it...see how lovely it looks and how sexy I feel! Oh something has to work! But it certainly wasn't putting my jeans on today...they are way too big for me! I cannot believe that they look like this on me, and the crutch just keeps falling down to my knees (well almost) and I am constantly hitching them up. I just feel annoyed that I spent money on clothes that don't fit! See it is gone! Before I was wrapped that these clothes don't fit! Now annoyance! I even put on a pair of pants for work, pants I hadn't worn since 2000 and even then they were tight...and they are loose! I have no pants for work! Annoyance! I should be so excited! I should be smiling ear to ear! But instead...I just feel so deflated...
come on "IT"...come back to me!
Just had a thought...maybe it is because I haven't been weighed so I have NO idea if I have gained or lost or stayed the same....I only ever weigh once a week at WW WI. So maybe, it is missing that and just having no idea. and I am a NEED TO KNOW person. Oh now I want to get weighed!
GRRRR
Monday, March 1, 2010
bali was great!
Well, have returned from the wonderful Bali! Would have loved another 2 or 3 days there!
I spent the whole time doing one of the following:
Swimming
Sun baking
Escaping the sun
Drinking (yes...beer and cocktails and loved it!)
Eating
Walking
Shopping
Sleeping
I didn't track. I know I was above points every single day! And that is ok! It was for 5 days! I have never been one that has needed to get back on track or anything like that. I stick to WW 100%. so 5 days out of 4 months is not the end of the world.
I also know that while I may have eaten the most yummiest of foods, and drunk the coldest Bintang and yummiest cocktails...I sweated out so much of it all..and I walked so much!
Indeed one day I walked 26km! In the heat and humidity! Didn't go a day under 20000 steps! So certainly not going to punish myself for not sticking to WW.
I had a great time! I probably have put on 2kg in 5 days...but again...that is ok! There is no weigh in this week, as it is a public holiday today (and i didn't get back until tonight) and there are no weigh ins close by with my leader and i really like her. So will have 1 week to stabilise!
Oh and I started week 4 of C25k today...did it on the treadmill and was surprised at how fast I could actually do it! Can't wait to do it outdoors! And if I can do the walking and everything in the heat of Bali, I can do it in the heat of WA...the humidity there is unbelievable!!! So I can put up with dry heat here!
I certainly found the week I should have started at. It was tough...especially doing the jog at level 10, and upped the last minute to level 11. I wish they told you how fast to run...I don't think I am getting the distance at all. But it is supposed to be a jog, not a run. and level 9 is a comfortable jog! :)
Anyway, I am dead and need a sleep! Have to work tomorrow... :( one day to get back into real life would be nice! Have no idea what I am going to teach tomorrow. I am planned...but did that 2weeks ago so forget what I am actually teaching! Early start!!
Final note...I popped into the old hotel my friends used to work at, and no luck with finding them. they had no recollection of them, no forwarding address...so no luck on seeing them. And the old hotel was just horrible! In absolute need for a knock down and rebuild. The hotel I stayed in, however, was GORGEOUS! And I fitted into some clothes too! Albeit XXXL! But at least they are now catering for big bums and boobs! :) Will look at what photos I can put up another day! :)
I spent the whole time doing one of the following:
Swimming
Sun baking
Escaping the sun
Drinking (yes...beer and cocktails and loved it!)
Eating
Walking
Shopping
Sleeping
I didn't track. I know I was above points every single day! And that is ok! It was for 5 days! I have never been one that has needed to get back on track or anything like that. I stick to WW 100%. so 5 days out of 4 months is not the end of the world.
I also know that while I may have eaten the most yummiest of foods, and drunk the coldest Bintang and yummiest cocktails...I sweated out so much of it all..and I walked so much!
Indeed one day I walked 26km! In the heat and humidity! Didn't go a day under 20000 steps! So certainly not going to punish myself for not sticking to WW.
I had a great time! I probably have put on 2kg in 5 days...but again...that is ok! There is no weigh in this week, as it is a public holiday today (and i didn't get back until tonight) and there are no weigh ins close by with my leader and i really like her. So will have 1 week to stabilise!
Oh and I started week 4 of C25k today...did it on the treadmill and was surprised at how fast I could actually do it! Can't wait to do it outdoors! And if I can do the walking and everything in the heat of Bali, I can do it in the heat of WA...the humidity there is unbelievable!!! So I can put up with dry heat here!
I certainly found the week I should have started at. It was tough...especially doing the jog at level 10, and upped the last minute to level 11. I wish they told you how fast to run...I don't think I am getting the distance at all. But it is supposed to be a jog, not a run. and level 9 is a comfortable jog! :)
Anyway, I am dead and need a sleep! Have to work tomorrow... :( one day to get back into real life would be nice! Have no idea what I am going to teach tomorrow. I am planned...but did that 2weeks ago so forget what I am actually teaching! Early start!!
Final note...I popped into the old hotel my friends used to work at, and no luck with finding them. they had no recollection of them, no forwarding address...so no luck on seeing them. And the old hotel was just horrible! In absolute need for a knock down and rebuild. The hotel I stayed in, however, was GORGEOUS! And I fitted into some clothes too! Albeit XXXL! But at least they are now catering for big bums and boobs! :) Will look at what photos I can put up another day! :)
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