My problem(s) with being sick...
I cannot do what I want to do.
I am always in denial for the first few days, don't do anything about it, so therefore get sicker.
I am determined to do what I want to do, so ignore my sickness, do it, and then get sicker.
My daughter does not understand that sick means "Leave me alone", "Don't climb on mummy", "Don't force her eyelids open", "Don't try to walk on mummy's belly"...oh so many of them! I then get no rest, and get sicker.
When my daughter finally sleeps, I can't, still no rest, and get sicker.
So you guessed it, I am sick.
I thought I strained my voice at the swimming carnival as my voice wavered and my throat got sore. Big deal.
Then my nose started running. Oh well, all related.
Then my ears started aching...hmmm...maybe not a strained voice.
Then coughing and spluttering up stuff.
Then the feeling of absolute, I am going to be sick...no wait...going to go to the toilet...no wait...oh what the heck, lets do both. (Well that is what it feels like, if not physically happening!)
And when does this happen?
3 days before bali.
1 day before my weigh in where I so want to be 15kg lighter then when I started WW.
Has this stopped me exercising?
God no...so of course this has probably sapped all my energy out of me making it 10x worse!
I haven't gone as hard, so at least I exercised without going overboard.
Unfortunately it means, there is no way I can achieve some of my goals.
HIIT is out. would have done it tonight but no chance.
I wanted to run 3.4km today (2 and a bit laps of the lake) but instead, I walked one lap, jogged one lap and walked one lap. Yesterday I did kickboxing (hard again) and I had to slow down the running...chest was just burning. at least i didn't feel sick yesterday! just the head and chest not working well!
I have my catch up class for kickboxing at 6am tomorrow, since I will be in bali next week. since it is the only chance i have to do it, i will be going whether i am sick or not...but gees, that was supposed to give me a real big boost for tomorrow's weigh in.
I might still be lucky. It has just hit me at the end of the week. I could have been suffering all week long.
When I am sick, i never seem to lose my appetite. I want to eat real solid food. pasta and the like. and lots of it. So lucky it has just been today. I am actually questioning if i have a bit of a flu and a bit of food poisoning from last night?? I hope in away it is because then at least the toilet issue and the desire to vomit will be gone very soon. then just the flu to worry about.
If I don't lose my 700gms this week, I will be disappointed, but I am not going to let it bother me too much. I have to take the good with the bad. Accept that I will catch up another time. It is a delay, not a stop. And big deal! Look at me now. I look great, feel great (well when not sick) and fit into great clothes. I have muscle definition. I am starting to like looking at myself in a mirror, albeit fully clothed - naked me is still an eye opener! I get compliments from people every week, almost every day. I am inspiring people. I can't complain!
More good news to not beat myself up over!
-I am 2cm taller then I thought I was (I always thought I was 169cm, was told no...you are 167cm when I was pregnant, but my short friend is 165cm and we know I am more then 2cm taller, so I measured and I was right the first time...169cm) which means this helps with my BMI! YAY! :) still obese though :(
-2cm off my bust. YAY!
-3cm off my hips YAY!
-my new size 16 jeans, while fitted perfectly in the shop - nice and tight fitting and looked great, are too big! Loose around waist and crutch. still wearable, but still too big!
-My new size 16 adidas pants are too big! They are only 3 weeks old.
-My sister gave me some of her "fat" clothes (she is very thin) which were size 12 + 14. Zip up, although tight and one skirt needs the hips taken in although a little tight on the waist! A couple of labels in there too!
And, I probably should have put this first but it isn't weight related.
After 6 years of trying, looking into IVF, having procedures to have IVF and then deciding against the emotional rollercoaster and succumbing to life without children, my sister is pregnant! :) 6 weeks, only known a few days, but HOW AWESOME! I will be Aunty!
We haven't had a lot to do with each other. She has not been an Aunt to my daughter; when she tried for so long and unsuccessful and I tried for 1 month and bang i can understand why she has been distant, but at the same time...this isn't about her and i, and jealousy, sadness, competition...this is about a child and she hasn't been apart of her life. I have been really angry at her for not being apart of her life. I want my child to have family. my parents live 7 hours away.
i have an aunty with 2 boys who are a big part of her life...and we have my husband's mum. That is it. Nobody else wants or shows any desire to be in my daughter's life. so i just hope like hell, that now, she will understand why my daughter and myself need her. and that she can actually show that family is important and wanted.
I am so excited for her, it is a relief that it can finally happen for her. And I really really hope it will enable us to become closer.
A big post, a big few days.
One more thing...I am all signed up and paid for the bridges fun run. 5km...and I have committed to NOT walking any of it! So this damn cold has to go soon. I am going to start week 4 of C25K this week, podcasts are downloaded. Looking forward to it! I have surprised myself with how much I am enjoying running! YAY :)
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